Friday, February 16, 2007

Anna, Anna, Fabulous Anna -- Anna Nicole!

So, I can't say that I've ever been a huge fan of Anna Nicole, but I do remember my hubby and I watching her reality show back in the day. I was always perplexed by her love of pickles, her dog SugarPie and her designer, Bobby Trendy. I also remember an episode where her back-woods, toothless cousin comes for a visit. It was all fun and games with Anna Nicole back then!

The Anna of recent is more of a sad story. There was that whole weird TrimSpa campaign, featuring a drooling and slurred speech Anna. And then the birth of her daughter and the death of her son within days of each other. I think Anna had issues -- issues bigger than her 38DDD boobs.

First there is the marriage -- I fully believe she married that old man for his money, but don't you think the old guy knew that? He was a billionaire, not an idiot. So, really, I think Anna Nicole should have received that money -- she used to strip and baby talk to that old geezer, for goodness sake!

And now this paternity battle over her daughter. What I don't understand is how Maury Povich can determine the baby's daddy within an hour's episode (When it comes to 4 month old Danielynn, you are NOT the father!), yet the officials working on this case can't figure out if the baby belongs to Zsa Zsa Gabor's husband!

If I'm not really a fan of Anna Nicole Smith, why bother writing this blog entry? Because it's all I've heard about at work for the last week or so and I need to get this out of my system! One nebby woman actually stopped in my office and proposed this story to me -- she thinks that the baby's daddy is none other than Anna Nicole's now dead son! Apparently, Anna had an incestuous relationship with her son and then he committed suicide right after it was confirmed that the baby was really his! And then, get this -- Anna committed suicide too because the press was going to find out that the baby was her son's! Oh the drama!

I'd like to propose my own theory -- Anna is really quite a brilliant business woman and the baby is actually that old geezer's. Let's say Anna froze the old guy's sperm, kept it in her freezer next to her ice cream, and then impregnated herself with it. This would insure that she would get the 1/2 billion dollars for sure. Ok, it's just a half-baked theory, but it seems more likely to me than the whole incestuous suicide conspiracy.

RIP Anna Nicole...

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